Let's start this abridged chapter, with a healthy lunch. Nah, read this starved. It'll look funnier if you do.
Bogie: AHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE HELP ME! I ONLY WANTED TO KILL A BUNCH OF INNOCENT PEOPLE, AND VIOLATE HOT GUYS!
Takimaru: You know, your an offensive gay stereotype.
Bogie: Hey, I'm evil. Just because I happen to be gay doesn't mean anything. But... How did you find, take out, and dislocate my funny bone? I hid it!
Takimaru: Luck.
Bogie: BULL CRAP!
Takimaru: Well then... (Sherlock music) I saw that you defended that part of your body the most. When you twisted your body, you would always try to hide that part of your body, and then, lastly, the most important part. When you described your 4,000 bones, you immediately looked at that part of your body, almost like you thought all those bones would fall apart... Without... That... One... Part.
Bogie: ... Kiss me.
Takimaru: Eww...
Bogie: Good... He's down. All I need to do, is get that one bone, and then, I can kill him. Now... Move 4,000 bones... Piece of cake... Wow, I'm actually doing! I can get it! I can do it! I FEEL ALIVE! PRAISE THE LORD! I'M SO EXCITED...
Barry: OWW! That hurt. Let's finis this.
Bogie: You... Big... Douchebag...
Barry: What?
Bogie: MY... Hey, it's okay. Now, don't step on it! Got it?
Barry: Got it. Now... What was I doing earlier... Oh yeah! BOGIE, BE CAREFUL! SCARFACE IS HERE TO KILL ME!
Bogie: IMPOSSIBLE! I DEFEATED AL PACINO WITH A SPORK DURING THE REMAKE OF THE ARENA, IN A GORN SUIT!
Match: CUTTY WUTTY!
Bogie: No... Impossible. To die here... From a hippie boy in a giant ice cube, when ScarFace cut my funny bone in half. I thought I would die when the Eskimo with the bus on fire hit me when I ate his larva god. Or the time when Buffy the Vampire slayer mistook me for Spike. Here... I die... Goodbye, my loved one's. Barry. Midora. Jeffrey, the coffee guy, with the nice butt.
Nobody700: And thus, was the end, of a strong brave hero, and a noble, courageous, villain. But these two survived... Somehow.
Match: Your rather a fast and slippery fellow, who wears steel armor and looks about 400 pounds.
Barry: Insensitive jerk! I was born with these types of hips. I don't talk about your scarry Darry face. How did you get that way, anyway?
Match: Zebra.
Barry: Jeez, you got it good then.
Match: No, I didn't. Let's just say, my girlfriend dumped me because of the scars... Down lower.
Barry: He didn't!
Match: He caused a scar on my butt! My sex appeal!
Barry: Well, you mafia/Yakuza trash. Always making badass movies, like the Godfather, Goodfellas, Braveheart.
Mafia guy 1: I'm sure the last one wasn't about mafia...
Barry: Maybe not, but how do you think I feel? No good movies about fat people, outside of comedy's, and movies desperately trying to get an oscar.
Mafia guy 2: Hey... What about a Color Purple?
Barry: Meh, 3 and a half stars.
Match: YOU MONSTER!
Barry: LET'S A GO! FALCON, PUNCH!
Match: Deflect! You deal 0 damage! Go again!
Barry: I roll twice! Two for one!
Match: Congratulations! You win a butt wooping!
Barry: Yay! Reversible backflip smack!
Match: Hey, you a ballerina?
Barry: 12 years, 8 awards, 4 contests. Never won. Double standards.
Match: Aren't they awful?
Barry: So is having your arm broken.
Match: AHH! THAT WAS MY SECOND FAVORITE ARM!
Mafia guy 1: GET SOME!
Mafia guy 2: Bullets, meet fat guy! Fat guy, meet body bag! Body bag, meet fatty with a bladder problem!
Barry: Oily skin!
Match: Hey. You were able to survive my slashing!
Barry: Yep. I thank my turtle armor. From a Crush Dile. Said to be the hardest in the human world. How your able to cut it and make it smooth for armor? Umm... LASER BEAMS!
Match: Ahh, interesting. But I ask you... How do you sweat in -150 degrees?
Barry: Antifreeze. Dude, I'm 2/3 naked. I need something to help.
Match: True... But I ask you... One question. How are you so fast?
Barry: Not fast. Slippery.
Match: Holy...
Barry: Slippery when wet.
Match: MY FACE! NOW MY 3RD, 7TH, AND 8TH FAVORITE RIB!
Barry: Hey, have you ever heard of you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette?
Match: Yeah?
Barry: For me... Break all their bones to make a dead guy.
Match: That sounds awful... HOLY MOLY!
Barry: Slow poke. You can barely move at half your speed, and my own speed is increased by 3x slippery. How can you hope to defeat me, when you aren't even at full power... And I am? Face it, maybe you could have had hope, at full power... But here, at this area... You don't even have half a hope. Admit it. At this rate, the only thing that awaits you... Is death. You can only hope for a quick, merciful, death.
Match: He's right... I can't beat him. My eyes, are adjusting to the freezing temperatures... My body can't even keep up... I need to stay warm. I have to... Stay calm... And stay warm.
Barry: HAH! FACING DEATH LIKE A MAN! STAND PROUD, I'LL KILL YOU, AND LET GOD SORT YOU OUT!
Match: The food, or actual God?
Barry: Ummmmmm... Yes.
Mafia guy 1: HEY! WERE A DISTRACTION!
Mafia guy 2: YOU WEENIE! DISTRACTING!
Mafia guy 3: IF YOU IGNORE US, AND KILL MATCH, ALL HOPE IS LOST! SO, FORGET THAT, AND COME AT US!
Barry: Why not?
Match: Great job guys... I need... 3 minutes.
Mafia Guy 1: 3 minutes!
Mafia guy 2: WE'RE DEAD!
Mafia guy 3: I WET MYSELF, AND NOW MY PANTS FEEL HEAVY!